The Screenwriter's Corner

There's ALWAYS time for Vegas!!!





DREAMS AND INSPIRATION

I’ve been kicking around a specific story in my head for a while now. I have a good Act One, but I seem to get stuck on Act Two. My belief is that my villain simply isn’t good enough. You’re hero is only as good as your villain as the saying goes.

I had a dream a few nights ago that played out like the movie. It was a very good story line for this character….at least as far as I can remember. That’s the problem I had. I only remember bits and pieces of the dream. The feeling is that the story which played out in it was exactly what I’ve been looking for, but now I can’t recall much of it.

I’ve been reading a book called "On Writing Horror"


One of the authors wrote an essay about entering a state between dreaming and awake in which he has "received" many of his stories. He talks in it about being able to use this state of mind to recall dreams in their entirety and thereby cull from them his stories.

I’m working on doing this now (well…not literally…I’m writing this blog now) in the hopes that I can recall the dream for this script. Has anyone been able to recall a dream in vivid, or at least enough, detail to create a story from it? I’d love to hear who, what and when. Until then I’ll keep trying to find a technique that works for me.

Best of Luck and Life,

Jerry W. Hawkins

President

Hawkins Productions

www.hawkprod.com



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Good Luck and Good Life, Jerry W. Hawkins www.hawkprod.com



11 Non-Writing Things You Could Do to Improve Your Screenwriting
by Gina Vanname

The best way to improve your screenwriting is to write, but sometimes you just need a break. Here are 11 tools that you could use to enrich your writing when you're not writing

TOOL #1 - GO TO THE MOVIES

Not just to watch a movie, but also to analyze it. See a movie that is similar to the idea you're working on. Bring a watch and time the act breaks.

Observe where the act breaks occur (i.e. first act break at 25 minutes into the movie, second act break happens at 58 minutes, etc.) After the movie ends, think about how effective the act breaks were, the overall feel of the movie, and it's pacing.

Did the movie feel slow to start? If so, did the first act break happen too late? How did you feel at the end? Satisfied? Curious? Disappointed? What worked and what didn't? At what point were you engaged? Did you forget about timing it? If so, what was happening when you forgot and when you remembered once again? How would you describe this movie -- by the plot or by the main character's journey?

Were the characters interesting and developed enough for you to guess how their life would continue after the movie ended? Was the feeling you had after the movie ended still with you by the time you got home?

Successful movies are able to stick with you for a while. Analyzing these things will improve your own writing.

TOOL #2 - WATCH A DVD

Not just any DVD. The DVD must have an audio commentary. There are a lot of DVDs now released or re-released with Director / Writer commentaries. This is a special tool that is invaluable to any filmmaker or writer.

Believe me, you will learn an abundance of information that will help you write. If the writer is the director all the better

Watch the movie first so that you understand what they're talking about. Some DVD commentaries I recommend are: American Beauty, Pi, Boogie Nights, Usual Suspects, The Matrix, Unbound, and Contact.

TOOL #3 - READ A SCREENPLAY

This is perhaps one of the best tools for new and experienced writers. If you're going to be a screenwriter you must read other writers' work. There is just no way around it. When you read a screenplay of a movie you have seen you get all sorts of useful information to use for your own writing. Study how the writer wrote the action on the page.

Does he write anything internal (not visual) and if so, what and why? How much did he describe in the scene or about the location? What is his style? If you can, read both the writer's final draft (the draft that the studio bought) and the studio's final draft (final shooting script) to compare the changes.

TOOL #4 - EAVESDROP

(Warning: Do this at your own risk. There's a chance that you could get yourself into trouble). A local coffee shop will do or some place where people sit and talk. Usually, two people sitting together have better conversations than if more than two. If they talk loud enough, I'm under the impression that they "want" others to listen. So listen.

Bring a notepad with you and do this alone. Jot down whatever you hear. Take notice of their speech patterns, what they say between the lines, and how their friend reacts. Examine their relationship... who dominates their conversation... what is the motivation of the speaker... do they cut each off... are they talking about the same thing... or different things between the lines?
You can gather a lot of information about personalities and relationships, more than people know about themselves. This tool helps enhance your characterizations, especially your dialogue and subtext. Just remember that people's speech is mostly banter, whereas movie dialogue is a prudent version of real conversation.

TOOL #5 - WATCH TV WITH SUBTITLES

If you don't have a TV that has a subtitle option, some DVD have subtitles. This tool helps with your dialogue. Watch the entire movie with the subtitles turned on. It helps to read the words the characters' are speaking, so you get to see how an actor executes this dialogue and how it would be written on the page.

TOOL #6 - GO TO A SPEAKER ENGAGEMENT

If you live in Los Angeles there are tons of places to hear screenwriters speak about screenwriting. If you don't live in Los Angeles, check with a large bookstore like Barnes & Noble or Borders to get a schedule of their speakers, readings, etc. Even hearing a novelist talk about his or her writing process is helpful to screenwriters.

TOOL #7 - PEOPLE WATCH

used to do this with mirrored or dark glasses so nobody was aware. If they became aware... the game was over, because their actions became self-conscious or motivated

This exercise helps writers with characterization. Studying people is a great tool for writers. One time, I saw a woman with a stroller. She was talking to and fussy over the baby inside. She left the train and I got a glimpse of the baby... it was a plastic doll. Jeez, there's a story in that!

How would you succinctly describe a person's physical characteristics? How would you describe their actions? Also, take note about their dress... are they wearing things that flashes a hint at their personality? A pink hat, green-horned glasses, or a religious icon.

Ask yourself, "How would this person react to a death, a winning lottery ticket, a solicitation, a threat, to making
love? You can invent entire histories for strangers.

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TOOL #8 - GO TO SEMINARS

Check with colleges and schools in your area for weekend or one-day screenwriting seminars. Listening to what others have to say about screenwriting techniques always brings new perspectives

TOOL #9 - READ A BOOK

Pick a classic or contemporary fiction. While reading, take note of how the author describes the characters. What words and adjectives do they use? How does he or she write characters' actions? What verbs do they use?

Does the author successfully describe the scene or location in one sentence? How do they construct their sentences?

Keep in mind the main differences between a novel and a screenplay; novels could use internalization, whereas, descriptions in a screenplay should be visual and should never state a character's thoughts; and the novel's dialogue is usually weak, but in a screenplay it needs to be crisp and definitive.






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TOOL #10 - VISUALIZATION

This is a form of meditation that can help writers. Get yourself comfortable, either lying down or sitting, breath deeply for a while, relax, and clear your head.

This only works if you quiet your mind. Gently push away any thoughts that come into your head. Once clear, begin to visualize yourself in the place where you usually write (your desk computer, your laptop). And visualize yourself typing fast without any breaks in keypunching. Visual yourself finishing a screenplay. Visualize the finished screenplay with your name on it.

Keep visualizing this every day. This exercise works if you do it diligently. Soon, you'll visualization will be manifested and you'll have finished your draft. This exercise is good for any stage of writing; visualize yourself selling it to a producer, getting an agent, getting the big check, getting it made, and getting an award.

TOOL #11 - READ A SCREENWRITING BOOK

Reading one screenwriting book will help you with at least one new writing technique. Even if you've read it before, you will pick up something new or remember some method that you could use.








FINAL THOUGHTS

Whether you're between scripts, experiencing writer's block, or just want to kill time, using any one of these tools repeatedly will definitely improve your screenwriting

Other benefits of these tools are they inspire, generate new ideas, and even eliminate any guilty feelings you may experience when you're not actually writing.

DON'T GIVE UP!!!



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One thing that I’ve noticed in the on-line writer’s groups of which I am a member is a lack of understanding as to what a log line is, what it should/should not contain, etc. Many people leave out important information when they write their log lines (I’ve been guilty of this as well). We need to know what, what and why, but also what will happen if they DON’T succeed. It’s not enough to just know that the story is about BLANK who is going to be trying to do BLANK. We also need to know why we care. What will happen to us/the world/whoever if BLANK can’t accomplish BLANK? Below is a good article on writing log lines. Enjoy!!

How to Write a Log Line

By Will Wright, published May 11, 2007


When it comes time to market your script, invariably the first thing a prospective producer will want to see is your screenplay's logline. A great logline may be the difference between your script getting sold or your script getting tossed. The logline is almost like a business card - it serves as both an advertisement and a calling card for the script. A poorly written logline usually means a poorly written script. But how do you condense your entire screenplay into 25 words or less? What do you include? What should you leave out? Take these tips from the pros to turn that logline from a dreaded part of the screenwriting process to one that could possibly lead to that big sale.






Logline Tips: Some Do's and Don'ts

Try writing your logline before you write your script. This will help clarify the screenplay and keep you focused on the main storyline. You wouldn't want to start a road trip without knowing your destination. Likewise, you wouldn't want to start a script without knowing where you are going. Writing your logline before you start is like having a road map sitting in front of you, to keep you on track. If the story changes, you can always revise your logline later.

Don't use character names in your logline unless your story is based on an actual person.

Don't attempt to tell the story in the logline. Tell about the story instead. It's a subtle difference, but basically you want to relate the story's concept in a logline by telling the story in a nutshell.

Don't use analogies to describe your story. Lines like: "It's Jaws meets Top Gun" is not what you want to put in a logline. While analogies can be useful, their place is not in your logline.

Do keep your logline to a single sentence. It will probably be a long sentence, but we'll come to that in just a minute.

Don't write a logline that sounds like a movie poster. That's a tagline. Avoid things like "it's the greatest story ever told" or "this explosively creative story...". These sorts of lines are created by publicity departments.






Writing Your Logline

A logline has six basic parts. They are:

The hero (examples: a cop, a mother, a lawyer, whoever your hero is)

Character flaw (examples: alcoholic, bipolar, afraid of snakes, handicapped, etc...)

The hero's opponent (who the hero must overcome to succeed)

The hero's life-changing event (what the hero decides to do to achieve his goals)

Battle (the 'fight' with opponent or self)

Ally (who helps the hero)

To write your logline, simply take these parts and combine them into a single sentence. Here's an example of a logline for the movie, Rocky.

A boxer(hero) who's afraid he's a loser (character flaw) is offered a chance by the world champion (opponent) to fight for the heavyweight championship (life-changing event), but must learn to believe in himself with the help of his lover (ally) before he can step into the ring (battle).

These six elements can be combined in any order, but they form the basis of your logline. You may be surprised at how efficient this simple form is at conveying an entire story. Try to guess the movie based on the following logline.

A starship captain with the help of his friends must overcome his fear of growing old to stop an enemy from his past bent on destroying Earth.

If you guessed Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, you are correct. Notice we say nothing about the subplots, Spock's death, Planet Genesis, Kirk's ex or his son, and yet the basic story is quite clear.

Writing good loglines takes practice, but using the steps above turns them from a necessary chore, to a fun exercise in analyzing your script.

I'm sitting in the living room the other night watching the Chiller Channel (dish network's equivalent of fear net for those of you with Comcast). Tales From the Crypt came on. Back in the day I loved this show. It was one of the episodes from the second season, and it got me thinking. Does anyone else remember an episode from season 6 titled Comes The Dawn (Originally aired on 1/11/95)? It featured Bruce Payne, Vivian Wu, Susan Tyrrell and Michael Ironside.

My point? It was about two men who went to Alaska to hunt bear....well...I believe it was to poach actually.....But I digress. The thing is the men ran into a group of vampires. The last man standing managed to make it back to his hotel and made a final stand believing that he could hold the vampires off until dawn. The catch was that the sun wasn't going to rise for another two months (as he discovered just before being killed at what should have been sunrise). Sound familiar? It did to me!!

It got me thinking. How much inspiration can you get from TV shows (preferably older ones)? As far as I can find the people behind 30 Days of Night had nothing to do with this Crypt Episode, so it makes me wonder if they were inspired by it in any way.

Has anyone else out there ever watched an old program (or remembered one) and thought it would make a good feature length work? Has anyone ever acted upon these thoughts?

Anyway....I've got to get to work on the shooting script for my upcoming short film After Night Falls (no it doesn't take place in Alaska HaHaHa), so you all have a good night.

Good Luck and Good Life,
Jerry W. Hawkins
President
Hawkins Productions
www.hawkprod.com

It’s hard to sell a script. Even with an agent I’ve been unable to do so at this point. I’ve had meetings with A-List Producers, but I haven’t made it over the hump yet. My scripts have been rated well be peer reviewers (I’m not one of those "you give me a good review and I’ll give you one" kind of people, so there’s no reason for them to lie to me…that I know of HaHa), but apparently I just haven’t gotten the right story in front of the right person just yet.








I’m going to be filming my own short films and making trailers to drum up interest in my full length scripts, but in the meantime why don’t you tell me how I’m doing? My scripts can be read in full under the projects tab at www.hawkprod.com. If they suck, tell me they suck (and please tell me why. I can’t change what I don’t know about). If you like them, then please let me (and others) know.

As for me….I’ll be working on story boards for the friend of mine who’s doing the music for my shots/trailers, working on my latest full length feature script, and marketing my work.

What people have said about my script New Moon:

The unfolding of the plot is well structured

Outstanding tale of suspense!

A fine piece of entertainment! Well-written and gripping.

wow, this is a very well written screen play. terific character development,

New Moon is currently ranked 276 of 3,242 scripts on the site (or in the top 8% on the site). My other three scripts have ranked well on triggrstreet (Montec) and Zoetrope.com (all 4).